Several studies suggest that our discomfort with our own aging is partly related to the taboo around death in our society: older people remind us of our own mortality. Compounding this is the emphasis society places on productivity, instantaneity and autonomy, all of which are highly prized values… it’s hard to want to grow old!

The social stance on old age, which is almost systematically condescending, therefore acts on our subjective experiences of aging, which bring into play the age that we feel we are and the age that we think and hope that we are projecting. Self-ageism leads us to expect to look younger than we are… and this is when we are likely to turn to those wrinkle cream brands! People who have internalized ageist stereotypes may try to set themselves apart from other people associated with their age group: the old ones are those other people! Denying one’s age is one common manifestation of self-ageism.

Because negative perceptions of old age have been reinforced throughout our lives, we often end up discriminating, stigmatizing or excluding ourselves. We forbid ourselves to speak and act in a certain way that wouldn’t be consistent with what we think to be socially acceptable. At what age, for example, must we give up baseball caps or miniskirts? 

We also fear physical and cognitive decline, illness and dependency. This is a vicious circle… self-ageism can affect our physical and intellectual performance, and in turn our mental and physical health condition can amplify a negative perception of our own aging.

In short, self-ageism has important consequences. It feeds the fear of becoming a burden to society and often leads to a more or less gradual withdrawal from society. Understanding why we don’t like getting older and the reasons behind our attitudes and behaviours can help us live with aging in a more positive way.